Post by CSCommish on Apr 13, 2024 15:58:49 GMT -5
So I have been asked to post the top 10 for batters, top 10 for starters and top 10 for relievers. By whom? The great stoool of course. It makes sense, though, we need to get a better understanding of whether stoools shit smells good too, and that they justify the horrible offers we get for them. He's probably right though, his players are top of the line, and you either need to send 4 top brill spects for a 30+ year old so-called stud, or the confusing so-called blockbuster deals are, in fact, generous offers.
So what does it mean if you have a guy in the top 10? Well, there are 28 teams, and assuming all teams were made equal, an average team would have 36% chance of having a top 10 guy. Given that in any given year, you probably have at least one team in each division tanking, it really means that there are usually only 20 so-called competitive teams, so really, an average competing team would have a 50% chance of having a top 10 guy.
Let's start with the batters.
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
1. 2B Jose Vidro, SFG
2. RF Curtis Granderson, PHI
3. 1B Justin Morneau, CHA
So, who are #4 through #10?
4. SS JJ Hardy, PHI
5. 1B Albert Pujols, STL
That's right, another Phillie, but we knew that already when the top 3 teams were posted. THERE IT IS, THE CARDINAL! THIS IS IT! The number five hitter in the league RIGHT NOW! But wait, there's more! He just turned 32. Wait. 32-year-old batter? Well, that's not the end of the world, maybe he'll climb a spot once Vidro starts tanking. Let's see who is behind Pujols.
6. 3B David Wright, COL
7. 1B Andre Ethier, HOU
8. 1B Miguel Cabrera, MIN
These guys are remarkably similar in age, and all a hair under 30. These guys are generally in their peak and/or hitting their peak, which means they are all likely to pass Pujols within the next year or 2. Aww, that sucks. Let's round out the top 10.
9. 3B Adrian Beltre, STL
10. CF Willy Taveras, DET
OH MAN, ANOTHER CARDINAL, the #2 team in the league with the best duo of hitters!!! behind only Philadelphia. But wait, Beltre is also 32 like Pujols? No wait, he's about to turn 33, he's even older?? Yikes. Hmm. Well, we're talking about right now, not at the end of the season. So yes, stoool has the #2 team in terms of the bash brothers, just ignore how old they are.
Let's also ignore that stoool's #3 hitter is a quickly-aging Carlos Pena, all the way in - fixes glasses - in #45 spot. That is why the Cardinals are in 5th place of the top 3 teams of the top trio of hitters. Cleveland, Los Angeles (A), Chicago (A), Los Angeles (N), Minnesota and Chicago (N) are not far behind. I expect the Cardinals to fall outside the top 10 by the end of the season. Sad. Yes, a fire sale makes sense. A year ago.
Let's move onto the starters. Surely greener pastures there for the Cardinals, right?
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
Top 3 Starters:
1. Ben Sheets, PHI
2. Carlos Zambrano, BOS
3. Josh Johnson, TOR
Alright, let's move onto #4 through #10.
4. Shaun Marcum, COL
5. Carlos Villanueva, STL
Marcum is studly, but I gotta give stoool credit, Villanueva does not look half bad and is even younger and cheaper than Marcum.
6. Anibal Sanchez, BAL
7. Ryan Rupe, ATL
8. Chad Billingsley, SFG
9. Adam Wainwright, HOU
10. Jeff Weaver, CLE
But yea, sorry, no more Cardinals in the top 10. Nah, you need to go into the top 20. Sorry, what was that? My producer is telling me that Oliver Perez is ranked #27. You're telling me that the Cardinals #2 starter is ranked #27 when there are 28 teams? Yea? Huh. That is interesting.
OK, this is getting kinda embarrassing, let's quickly move onto the relievers.
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
1. Joel Hanrahan, ATL
2. Mike Crudale, SFG
3. Jose Valverde, ATL
Please tell me there are multiple Cardinals in the Top 10.
Just one?
4. Jason Frasor, STL
You tease. There's more coming for sure. I don't care he's already 34. He's in the peak years, remember? I already said 33-35 is probably top peak performance, but are expensive to reverse PDs, sure, whatever, but that's their PEAK DAMMIT!
Keep going.
5. Mike Adams, PHI
6. Grant Balfour, HOU
7. Pedro Strop, MIN
8. Chad Cordero, PHI
9. Tim Spooneybarger, MIN
10. Javier Lopez, SFG
Folks. We've witnessed a murder. I need you to clear the scene. We need to make some room here to unpack this. Tell me where the next Cardinal is please.
Oh, the next one at #11? Yea, Mike V. Gonzalez. Huh? The guy he traded for from Seattle? the 33-year old? Meh.
Well I'm sure his #3 reliever is close by...right? Oh... he's not? Peter Moylan is where? #43 of relievers? Who is after the #5 reliever on the Twins? lol
Well, there you have it folks.
So what does it mean if you have a guy in the top 10? Well, there are 28 teams, and assuming all teams were made equal, an average team would have 36% chance of having a top 10 guy. Given that in any given year, you probably have at least one team in each division tanking, it really means that there are usually only 20 so-called competitive teams, so really, an average competing team would have a 50% chance of having a top 10 guy.
Let's start with the batters.
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
1. 2B Jose Vidro, SFG
2. RF Curtis Granderson, PHI
3. 1B Justin Morneau, CHA
So, who are #4 through #10?
4. SS JJ Hardy, PHI
5. 1B Albert Pujols, STL
That's right, another Phillie, but we knew that already when the top 3 teams were posted. THERE IT IS, THE CARDINAL! THIS IS IT! The number five hitter in the league RIGHT NOW! But wait, there's more! He just turned 32. Wait. 32-year-old batter? Well, that's not the end of the world, maybe he'll climb a spot once Vidro starts tanking. Let's see who is behind Pujols.
6. 3B David Wright, COL
7. 1B Andre Ethier, HOU
8. 1B Miguel Cabrera, MIN
These guys are remarkably similar in age, and all a hair under 30. These guys are generally in their peak and/or hitting their peak, which means they are all likely to pass Pujols within the next year or 2. Aww, that sucks. Let's round out the top 10.
9. 3B Adrian Beltre, STL
10. CF Willy Taveras, DET
OH MAN, ANOTHER CARDINAL, the #2 team in the league with the best duo of hitters!!! behind only Philadelphia. But wait, Beltre is also 32 like Pujols? No wait, he's about to turn 33, he's even older?? Yikes. Hmm. Well, we're talking about right now, not at the end of the season. So yes, stoool has the #2 team in terms of the bash brothers, just ignore how old they are.
Let's also ignore that stoool's #3 hitter is a quickly-aging Carlos Pena, all the way in - fixes glasses - in #45 spot. That is why the Cardinals are in 5th place of the top 3 teams of the top trio of hitters. Cleveland, Los Angeles (A), Chicago (A), Los Angeles (N), Minnesota and Chicago (N) are not far behind. I expect the Cardinals to fall outside the top 10 by the end of the season. Sad. Yes, a fire sale makes sense. A year ago.
Let's move onto the starters. Surely greener pastures there for the Cardinals, right?
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
Top 3 Starters:
1. Ben Sheets, PHI
2. Carlos Zambrano, BOS
3. Josh Johnson, TOR
Alright, let's move onto #4 through #10.
4. Shaun Marcum, COL
5. Carlos Villanueva, STL
Marcum is studly, but I gotta give stoool credit, Villanueva does not look half bad and is even younger and cheaper than Marcum.
6. Anibal Sanchez, BAL
7. Ryan Rupe, ATL
8. Chad Billingsley, SFG
9. Adam Wainwright, HOU
10. Jeff Weaver, CLE
But yea, sorry, no more Cardinals in the top 10. Nah, you need to go into the top 20. Sorry, what was that? My producer is telling me that Oliver Perez is ranked #27. You're telling me that the Cardinals #2 starter is ranked #27 when there are 28 teams? Yea? Huh. That is interesting.
OK, this is getting kinda embarrassing, let's quickly move onto the relievers.
We already know these guys are in the Top 3:
1. Joel Hanrahan, ATL
2. Mike Crudale, SFG
3. Jose Valverde, ATL
Please tell me there are multiple Cardinals in the Top 10.
Just one?
4. Jason Frasor, STL
You tease. There's more coming for sure. I don't care he's already 34. He's in the peak years, remember? I already said 33-35 is probably top peak performance, but are expensive to reverse PDs, sure, whatever, but that's their PEAK DAMMIT!
Keep going.
5. Mike Adams, PHI
6. Grant Balfour, HOU
7. Pedro Strop, MIN
8. Chad Cordero, PHI
9. Tim Spooneybarger, MIN
10. Javier Lopez, SFG
Folks. We've witnessed a murder. I need you to clear the scene. We need to make some room here to unpack this. Tell me where the next Cardinal is please.
Oh, the next one at #11? Yea, Mike V. Gonzalez. Huh? The guy he traded for from Seattle? the 33-year old? Meh.
Well I'm sure his #3 reliever is close by...right? Oh... he's not? Peter Moylan is where? #43 of relievers? Who is after the #5 reliever on the Twins? lol
Well, there you have it folks.
